PRIDE 2014

Happy Pride everyone!

as most of you know this month is mostly known for its pride parades all around the world. For those of you who don't know Pride Parades are walks/parades that celebrate the LGBT community and shine light to legal rights such as same sex marriage.  I know i'm writing a blog here but i must admit i'm not the best at describing things so here's the wikipedia page if you want to know more about it.

I live in Istanbul. I didn't know about this but apparently we have been doing the Pride Parade since 2003! We are also the only muslim country to do this. I was pretty proud when i found out about this. Gay marriage is not legalized in Turkey yet, but majority of the society is pretty open about the LGBT community. I'm hoping there will be more to come on this subject in the future.

Basically me and my friend went to this years parade on sunday. I wanted to go for a couple of years and it was definitely a sight to see! The atmosphere was magical, it felt like such a homey environment and everyone came together not to protest but celebrate. The parade was held in Taksim, Istiklal Avenue to be more specific. There were thousands of people; lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, straight! Everyone was there to have fun, show their support and raise their voice. I can't stress this enough; It was one of the most incredible sights you could ever see! I took some photos from the event, I hope these can at least slightly give you an idea of how it was...

MissAnnaSparks

New Year, New Chances

Hello 2014 and hello my lovely readers,

Once again we said goodbye to all our bad habits and all the people we like to leave in 2013 and stepped into a new year which is currently completely empty. It’s like we stepped into a universe where all you can see is an endless white place. Throughout the year you’ll fill that space with memories, decorate it, color it with emotions and make it beautiful. 

Just as any other year most of us made a list of resolutions we’d like to achieve in the course of 2014. I’m not going to say I keep my new years resolutions each year, most of the time I completely ignore it and carry on with my life as if I never thought of the things I wrote on the list I made.  Sometimes I achieve some of them. Not as often as I'd like to though. 

So enough rambling, let’s get on with this years list shall we?:)

• Travel

I love to travel. I love seeing new places and get away from my usual routine. In 2012 I traveled a lot and I have to say, it was my favorite year. I went to Italy in July, travelled all around the country, met so many amazing people. Then I went to Bodrum which was a small vacation after a long vacation abroad (we all need those, don’t we?) Afterwards in October I went to Norway for a week. It was lovely as well. I can’t say I saw as many landmarks as I did in Italy but regardless I had a wonderful time there. 

However in 2013 I didn’t do that much traveling and towards the end of the year I realized how bored I was. Not because I wasn't having a good time but because of all the missed opportunities. I could’ve seen so many beautiful places but I just stood in the exact same spot for a whole year. That’s a slightly depressing thought for me. So I will try to travel a lot more this year and see at least 3 new places! 

• Say Yes More

To be completely honest, towards the ends of this year I became incredibly lazy. I wasn’t like this at the beginnings! It’s not even just affecting my studies but my social life as well. I find the most bizarre excuses to get out of a social meet up. I just don’t feel like getting ready, going out, socialize. But I used to love it. The twisted part is that I also moan about how I want to go out and how much I'm bored at home but when someone asks me to go somewhere with them I just find and excuse and turn them down. I have to stop that. I want to go out more. 

• Study More

I’m not bad when it comes to my classes. I was terrible in high school, I passed almost all my lessons with like the lowest passing grade. Though in university, since I love my major I actually like to listen. I still don’t study as much as I should but since I'm listening in class and give 100% of my attention my GPA after the midterms is 3.60+. But finals are just around the corner and I really don’t feel like studying. I started and finished 4 new TV series just to get away from studying. So this year (starting tomorrow hopefully or I'll fail in my finals) I have to study as hard as I can. 

• Read More

Oh I miss reading! I used to read 2-3 books per week but this year I can count the amount of books I read with my fingers. It sucks. I miss starting a book and reading it for hours without stopping. I just didn’t have the time or the energy to read this year. I just know that I miss it and I want to start again soon. 

• Fall In Love

I know this is an odd thing to put on the list but just like reading, I miss this feeling. After a set of heartbreaks I closed my heart to outsiders and lately I just feel heartless. I just don't care anymore. And I want to, I want to care about someone so badly but whoever I meet just isn't for me. I haven't clicked with a person or looked at them without seeing a bad expectation from them for a long time. I just really want to meet someone this year who I will open myself up to. I want to love again. I think it’s time but I can’t just do it with anyone. 

Semi-Colons, Broken Walls

I don't enjoy letting people into my life. And I don't advise others to let people in either. It’s dangerous. You let the them see the most sacred part of yourself. They have to power to look deep into your soul after you give them the permission to do so. They can know your greatest dreams, darkest secrets and your deepest fears in life. But the second you allow them into your personal space, they have the power to do whatever they want. Oddly enough, they always choose to do the one horrid thing that is worse than any other; they leave. 

  Everyone leaves you at some point. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, willingly or unwillingly, at the end they all leave. Back when I was naive and innocent, when I believed in happy endings, I let so many cruel people in and the ending was always as cruel as the previous one. 

  The story is always the same; someone supposedly different from the others approaches and decides to get to know you. He gives you these positive vibes but doesn’t have the courage to pursue any further so he just drags you along. Lets you feel like you’re actually happy with that person, that you’re really going to have a continuation this time. You think to yourself “maybe this time he wont leave, maybe I finally found someone who will stay.” 

  

  But no! As always something happens that is unknown to me to this day and they decide to leave and just stop being a part of your life. Just like that. No solid explanation, no apologies, no nothing. As if the person they left behind is supposed to go on as if nothing happened, as if they haven’t happened. You can’t ask for a reason or be sad that they left because of the complications, because you don’t want to show weakness so you just try to carry on with your life with the impact they have made on your life. Someone once again broke your trust. Gave you another reason to build up walls around your heart. Just as God put flaming swords around the tree of life to protect it from humans, you put up walls around your heart to protect yourself from getting emotionally hurt. And each time someone breaks down those walls and leaves you again, you have to start from scratch, build all those walls again, this time even stronger because the last time they were apparently too thin. 

  So my advice to you is not to get attached. Just don't do it and save yourself the heartache and the trouble of all the healing process. I’m not saying be alone your whole life but do your best to protect yourself, be a hundred percent sure they’re worth it before you let them in. Be strong because humans are attracted to weakness. The second they see a fragile little person they stick their nose into your own little world and they break your heart. And we all know how much of a bitch that healing process is.